Try-Try-Try

Try-Try-Try I feel so excited because I don't really know what's going on for the next. First, checking the website www.toastmasters.org.tw from my good friend was my desire for finding a right place or group for my English conversation (maybe). I am not really good at doing computer. I couldn't look for what I really needed. Then , Blog is appearing in front of my heart. What to do with this stuff which somebody already mentioned to me before? I was so hestating to apply at this moment. Could I do it or should I do this right now by myself? And for what? I didn't want to waste my time and energy for this stupid program. I have been so tired to cook , wash, teaching and enjoyable for meditating, painting, dancing, drumming and relaxation. Surely, I even stopped writting my spiriture articles on the website for a long time. Why should I give myself a lot of burden for this? Now, I feel I am so lazy to live in this world, but I have never had this type of life before. I try not to be responsible for anything, such as housework, parenting, merriageship and friendship. I am just live in this world freely and truely. Nowhere to escape from my fear, my pain from the past, my desire for my future art display, my excitement at a very real moment. Sometimes, I felt I would like to disappear in this reality world to my spiriture world. Wher it is my right place for hidding with my heart. I have been seeking for 10 years non-stop.Sometimes, I felt I got it; some moment I felt I was totally lost. Finally, I got back my home with my heart. All journey is full of suprise, excitement, adventure and hard-task. No wonder, it's worth of my spiriture growth. It's a gift from God. I feel it's time for me to go to Igyp and Grece for bellydancing , and Turkey for the Sufi-whirling dancing. My purpose is not for learning dancing , but for the answer of those spiriture connections. Best wishes Mudita ( from Taiwan ) 2006, 12th. July